How to Make Difficult Decisions

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A step-by-step guide for how to make a decision. 

Making decisions can feel overwhelming, but breaking the process down into simple steps can help. 

First, clearly define the decision you are trying to make. You can rephrase this to ‘what do I need to decide?’ 

Secondly, you need to gather relevant information to understand your options, this could be through doing research and asking other people. Weigh the pros and cons of each choice, considering both logical factors and how you feel about them. It can be hard to think about things in the present so try thinking about how you feel in 6 months time depending on what decision you make. Think about what has helped you make decisions in the past - was it talking to someone you trust or was it following your gut? 

Thirdly, and importantly think about the barriers that may get in the way of you making a decision and what you can do about those. For example, if anxiety is interfering with you making the decision then how can you manage the anxiety either before or alongside commiting to a decision.

Finally, make your decision with confidence, take action, and reflect on the outcome to improve future decision-making. Making any decision is better than staying indecisive for long. You can always reflect and choose differently next time. 

How can women reading this go from being totally indecisive to making a firm decision about a big life event (like taking a new job, moving country / house, having a child etc)?

Women facing big life decisions can start by clarifying their core values and priorities—understanding what truly matters can provide a solid foundation for choice. Breaking the decision down into manageable steps, such as gathering information, seeking advice from trusted sources, and visualising potential outcomes, can reduce feelings of overwhelm. It is also important to recognize and challenge any self-doubt or fear of making the ‘wrong’ choice, focusing instead on making the best decision with the information available. Ultimately, trusting their instincts and embracing the fact that no decision is perfect can empower women to move forward with confidence.

It would then also be great to understand:

What is it that makes some of us so incapable of making decisions? (not only big ones but little ones too – does it say something about us? E.g need to seek approval?)

Decision-making can be challenging for many of us because of a number of factors such as fear of failure, perfectionism, and over-analysis. When faced with too many options, we can become overwhelmed, leading to decision paralysis. Additionally, low self-confidence and a fear of making the 'wrong' choice can cause hesitation and avoidance. Building self-trust and focusing on progress rather than perfection can help individuals navigate choices more effectively. Often when it comes to making decisions we are trying to make other people happy with our decisions, when it is more important that we make ourselves happy with our decisions. 

What is the psychology behind decision making? (What’s going on in our brains that can make this so hard? in a really easy to understand, simplified way please) 

Decision-making is a complex process influenced by both cognitive and emotional factors. Our brains weigh past experiences, potential outcomes, and personal values to arrive at a choice. We often rely on mental shortcuts that we have built over the course of our life to help make quick decisions, this is known as heuristics. Emotions play a significant role, as fear, excitement, or uncertainty can either motivate action or lead to indecision. Ultimately, confidence in our ability to make choices grows through experience and reflection.

Does everyone struggle with decision making? Are certain people (and /or maybe women) more prone to this?

Everyone experiences difficulty with decision-making at times, but the extent to which we struggle can vary based on personality, experience, and even social conditioning. Research suggests that factors like anxiety, perfectionism, and fear of negative outcomes can make some individuals more prone to indecision. Societal expectations and pressures may contribute to women feeling more hesitant when making certain choices. However being slower to make decisions is not a fixed trait, with practice and confidence-building, anyone can improve their decision-making skills.

Is there a takeaway here? Maybe a big secret to making big decisions?

The takeaway is that it is important to make a decision and then learn from it rather than stay in paralysis, let opportunity pass you by or change your mind if it is not working out. A top tip is to identify what is getting in the way of making a decision and try to address that. Remember, ie one makes perfect decisions all the time but our decision making skills improve with practice. Learning from making a decision is not the same as having made the ‘wrong’ decision. Often there is no such thing as the ‘right’ decision. Just ones we are happy with in hindsight.